"Forgiveness isn't about saying, 'It's OK,' or that you 'accept' or 'approve' what happened," Blanton said. "Forgiveness is the acknowledgment that what happened, happened, and that you are now ready to set down the baggage, the pain and the fear."
Wow. Just wow. Think about all the things we hold onto in life, and the "unnecessary baggage", that we could release and put behind us? Just because you can forgive someone doesn't mean what they did was ok, but think about the burden that will be lifted of your shoulders.
The reason this hit me hard this week, coming about a month after D walked out - I do forgive him. In the end it's really his loss anyways. Yes we both made mistakes. Yes we both said things we didn't mean sometimes. Our 3 years together were nowhere near perfect. Am I still bitter that I'm not getting married? That I don't have the kids we said we wanted, the family and life we wanted? Maybe a little. But what good is being bitter about it going to accomplish? Absolutely nothing. I can look back on my 10 years of long and failed relationships (all 4 of them) and honestly say am I bitter they happened? No. I learned something from each one.
Some things I learned the hard way. For example, domestic violence is never ok, and I'm lucky to be alive right now. Another thing - schedules won't always match, but you make the best with what you have and you both compromise to spend time together. And lastly, no matter how bad you want it to work, you can never change someone, and that may be the downfall of the relationship, and you need to accept that.
So why don't we open up that baggage, unpack some it, and let it go? (and talk about coincidence - Keane- Put it Behind You just came on my iPod)
"Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy." ~Thích Nhất Hạnh
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